The Hole in One Card

Hung from endless walls lining the Keleb Golf Perkhidmatan Awam (golf club I practice at in KL) are plaques with names dating back to the begining of the club's history. They are the names of every golfer to get a hole in one at KGPA. After your name is mounted on one of the many plaques, you recieve a 'tour card.' A card that signifies you have made a hole in one in Malaysia and therefore, are entitled to discounts and complementary rounds throughout the country. At one country club I played at in Indonesia, a hole in one won you a free lifetime membership at that facuility.

I wish in this paragraph I was able to relay to you that my name now appears on one such wall. However, I am still holeless. If there ever was a place to run an ace scam, it would be in Asia. H-I-Os are reveared and celebrated on an entirely new level. At most courses I have been to, the managment could care less if you are a professional pursuing golf as a career. But, if you have hit a bladed short iron, that snuck up the ladies' aid, over the apron, down the slope, through the windmill and into the clown's mouth at some point in your life, you can get a cheaper rate to play golf.

When I meet someone new who has no golfing experiance, they ask two questions: how far do you hit the ball; and how many hole in ones do you have? Should they only ask me how many ones I've made, and I reply zero, it is naturally assumed that because the Questioner's Grandmother Lucille made a hole in one last week, I am not a very skilled player. These are the looks the Pro golfer gets in Asia after he shows up at a course's registration desk with no H-I-O card.